Saturday 9 June 2012
Saturday 21 April 2012
Tuesday 27 April 2010
The JM SHIT Theorem
A Theorem on JM SHIT by Fila.
Please note before reading, if you continue past these notes, I cannot take any responsibility for the clarity and sick and twisted sad laughter that you may derive from this. You have been warned. Continue at own risk.
This is my theorem on what I have called the “JM SHIT phenomenon” (hereafter referred to as JM, or JM affliction, or alternatively the “”JM SHIT” which stands for “Julius Malema– Speak, Hinder, Instigate and Talkshit.)
Sources:
JM Himself (What I call the Proof of my theory)
JM Interviews. (Purely to see the effect the JM has on those who have not been inflicted by the JM SHIT Phenomenon)
ANCYL Press conferences. (Again only to see the effect the JM has in a surrounding where there are those suffering and those that ignore him.)
The Theorem
All the things which enter JM’s body were building up inside of him, so fast in fact that it could NOT be expelled fast enough to keep up with the monumental rate at which normal things are transformed into shit, causing him to get a pain in the ass. So he then consulted his Doc, who realised that the traffic should be re-routed to the largest Exit point. His mouth. Once re-routed, he needed to find something to ensure that it did not get too much outside influence (in order to try to minimize the amount of traffic). Create an endless loop – a closed system. Brilliant? Or not so brilliant? Head up ass, shit out mouth, no pain in own ass. Side Effect = Pain in everyone else's ass.
However there is a quick fix for this pain.
His Doc is running awesome specials – group discounts - Special offers deluxe.
Option 1. Head up own ass will cost you 1x ANCYL Membership of R12
Option 2. Head up JM's ass will only cost you a of your all morals, logic and ethics.
Wow - So worth it - so all we need to do stop feeling the pain is finding his damn doc... Apparently fully booked till next the Disciplinary hearing by the ANCYL for all attending officials from the ANC.
How sweet of them. Lets hope the DA’s stance that it is out of their budget remains steadfast.
ANC's own Doctor is trying to undo this re-routing but it is proving hard.
Apparently even once the head has been removed from the subjects ass, and shit rerouted to correct exit, ears are so clogged with shit, and every time they open their mouths to speak, someone puts their hand over their mouths in case of the bad breath left behind. Rendering them useless till it clears completely. No ETA of fully effective cure which is totally free from side effects. So think twice about it before you opt for it. It might relieve the pain now. But damage could be permanent and damn well embarrassing once the source of all the pain is no longer there.
It has been mentioned in medical circles that often the origin of such atrocities or diseases should be found and eradicated first, once this is done, hopefully all post-procedure victims would naturally and non-invasively revert back.
Only symptom which might be completely irreversible is the bitter, sour taste left in the mouth. As well as the embarrassment of having had your head up someone’s ass even if momentarily.
There is also the risk that it may not work at all on certain candidates, directly related to how long they have suffered, and also how much shit got rerouted, which would cause them to live out their lives with their head stuck up the ass of another.
Please note before reading, if you continue past these notes, I cannot take any responsibility for the clarity and sick and twisted sad laughter that you may derive from this. You have been warned. Continue at own risk.
This is my theorem on what I have called the “JM SHIT phenomenon” (hereafter referred to as JM, or JM affliction, or alternatively the “”JM SHIT” which stands for “Julius Malema– Speak, Hinder, Instigate and Talkshit.)
Sources:
JM Himself (What I call the Proof of my theory)
JM Interviews. (Purely to see the effect the JM has on those who have not been inflicted by the JM SHIT Phenomenon)
ANCYL Press conferences. (Again only to see the effect the JM has in a surrounding where there are those suffering and those that ignore him.)
The Theorem
All the things which enter JM’s body were building up inside of him, so fast in fact that it could NOT be expelled fast enough to keep up with the monumental rate at which normal things are transformed into shit, causing him to get a pain in the ass. So he then consulted his Doc, who realised that the traffic should be re-routed to the largest Exit point. His mouth. Once re-routed, he needed to find something to ensure that it did not get too much outside influence (in order to try to minimize the amount of traffic). Create an endless loop – a closed system. Brilliant? Or not so brilliant? Head up ass, shit out mouth, no pain in own ass. Side Effect = Pain in everyone else's ass.
However there is a quick fix for this pain.
His Doc is running awesome specials – group discounts - Special offers deluxe.
Option 1. Head up own ass will cost you 1x ANCYL Membership of R12
Option 2. Head up JM's ass will only cost you a of your all morals, logic and ethics.
Wow - So worth it - so all we need to do stop feeling the pain is finding his damn doc... Apparently fully booked till next the Disciplinary hearing by the ANCYL for all attending officials from the ANC.
How sweet of them. Lets hope the DA’s stance that it is out of their budget remains steadfast.
ANC's own Doctor is trying to undo this re-routing but it is proving hard.
Apparently even once the head has been removed from the subjects ass, and shit rerouted to correct exit, ears are so clogged with shit, and every time they open their mouths to speak, someone puts their hand over their mouths in case of the bad breath left behind. Rendering them useless till it clears completely. No ETA of fully effective cure which is totally free from side effects. So think twice about it before you opt for it. It might relieve the pain now. But damage could be permanent and damn well embarrassing once the source of all the pain is no longer there.
It has been mentioned in medical circles that often the origin of such atrocities or diseases should be found and eradicated first, once this is done, hopefully all post-procedure victims would naturally and non-invasively revert back.
Only symptom which might be completely irreversible is the bitter, sour taste left in the mouth. As well as the embarrassment of having had your head up someone’s ass even if momentarily.
There is also the risk that it may not work at all on certain candidates, directly related to how long they have suffered, and also how much shit got rerouted, which would cause them to live out their lives with their head stuck up the ass of another.
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